Well, welcome to the first proper edition of Top Hat, Old Chap!/Meet the Island! introducing England. Or Great Britain. Or the United Kingdom. Contrary to popular belief, all three are actually different, but I'll explain that another time. (Also popular to contrary belief, the Union Jack is not the national flag of the United Kingdom as the jack is a flag only flown from a specific part of a ship. And a flagpole doesn't usually qualify as that particular part of the ship. Anyway. I might do a proper post on that another time.)
I thought I'd kick things off with an introduction to sports. This little island is fairly well known for sports -- we have world-famous football teams (please note that, being British, I do not use the term "soccer", and also that there are at least three types of football: American football, 'soccer' football and Rugby football) like Chelsea and Manchester United (and Liverpool, apparently), invented Rugby (at a place called Rugby), and hold a cricket test series called "the Ashes" biannually. At least, I think it's held in Britain biannually. I don't really follow it that much.
Those are... well, the famous sports. I thought it'd be nicer to introduce you to one that is rather less well known than rugby, but apparently just as fun and definitely more dangerous, particularly for the spectators. This is, of course, the fantastic and slightly bizarre sport of cheese rolling.
I know, I know. You're probably giving the computer/iPod a bemused expression and wondering what on earth I could be talking about. "Cheese rolling?" "Is that some kind of weird metaphorical name?" "Or is it as dull as it sounds?" "Why is something with such a lame name called a sport?"
Actually, it came up in my French class recently because a cheese-rolling incident got into the French newspapers a few years back, and it was one of the clippings that happened to get into the text book that we're studying. It took several long minutes for my classmates to get their heads around the sheer bizarre Britishness of this sport.
Basically, there's this hill in Gloucestershire called Cooper's Hill where the event takes place every year. Recently, it's not really been official, but never mind.
A native British cheese of a cylindrical form, the Double Gloucester, which comes from the local area, is launched down Cooper's hill and, a second later, the participants give chase. The aim of the game, as anybody who's played it on Neopets will know, is to catch the cheese before it reaches the bottom... but since it can end up rolling at seventy miles per hour sometimes, it's a little easier said than done, so often it's just the first person to cross the finishing line at the bottom who wins the cheese.
Yeah, you heard right. The first prize is the cheese that just went charging down the hill. But don't worry -- it's quite a big cheese. Apparently the event can be traced back as a tradition of at least two hundred years, although the official Cheese Rolling website of the Cooper Hill event does mention that it might initially have come from a pagan ritual celebrating something or other to do with the turn of the seasons. I can't remember exactly what. Interesting fact: due to rationing during the Second World War, a full cheese couldn't be used for the race, so a wooden cylinder with a hollow middle containing a lump of cheese was pressed into service. I can only imagine how much more severe the injuries would have been if the spectators were hit by that. Cheese is one thing, but wood? Ouch.
Injuries are common, particularly in the nature of bad sprains and broken bones. In fact, from what I can make out, injuries tend to be just as common among spectators as among the participants. While the event was still official, the St John's Ambulance used to be there to pick up anybody needing to be taken to hospital (which as a regular occurrence), but I don't think that's happened for the past couple of years. But for the past couple of years, there don't seem to have been many injuries. Considering that the St John's Ambulance reported that eighteen injuries in 2009 was "low", 2010 and 2011 have practically been miracles. Oh, and ten of those eighteen injured people were spectators. I suppose that's just what happens to you when you get hit by a rampaging Gloucester.
The article I was reading about in my French text book was even funnier, though, in a sort of morbid way. Considering the steep, concave nature of Cooper's Hill and the speeds of the cheese you're chasing after, it's kind of normal that somebody might twist an ankle or even end up somersaulting down the hill. Anyway, the year that this particular article was written, the cheese managed to start off some miniature landslides/some of the stones/rocks decided to accompany it down (note: this may not have been at Cooper's Hill, because that place seems to be predominantly made up of grass and mud). Three of the participants were injured badly enough to be hospitalised, but a full thirteen of the spectators were taken out by the cheese and hospitalised too. Can you imagine that? Seriously, that's impressive on the part of the cheese. Thirteen. I feel sorry for those poor people, though. I mean, I've been chased by a sheep, but getting attacked by a cheese? And how do you explain that to your classmates or work colleagues when they ask about the broken arm? Yeah, a cheese ran me over.
I'm pretty sure that cheese-rolling takes place in other parts of Britain, but probably not on such a large scale as at Cooper's Hill, which attracts attention from around the world. I don't think it's something I'll ever get to try as my ankle's in pretty bad condition, but I might risk watching it someday. Personally, I think it's the mother of all bizarre and crazy sports. Anybody got any competitors to that opinion?
TBG <3
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